


oh, you're the light

by precious_summer



Category: IU (Musician), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Exploration, F/M, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 16:37:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18627100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/precious_summer/pseuds/precious_summer
Summary: Jungkook is figuring things out. Jieun is sure of herself. Meanwhile, Yoongi and Jimin.





	oh, you're the light

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: okay, my first fanfiction in a long long time....  
> I actually don't really ship JK with IU? But I love both of them, and I just really miss writing Jieun, I'm so gay for her. So their relationship in this story is just a beginning of something, an interlude, however you might call it. Short and sweet. Meanwhile we have yoonmin on the sideline being couple goals, pining so hard they make me so SAD.
> 
> moodboard: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1400367/oh-you-re-the-light

1.

Jungkook runs every Sunday morning. This Sunday, after a two-hour run around the neighborhood, he comes back home to wash his pair of black shoes – the favorite and most expensive – then hang them to dry in their balcony; all is done while Jimin is still sleeping off his hangover from Saturday evening. Jungkook enjoys things like this – a schedule, a simple task to make a habit out of, something that sticks around. After all, he is good with those, and living a life with such amount of control at 18-year-old helps him get into one of the best performing arts schools in the country - as a vocal major. Proving to people that he’s making it, he’s living the dream.

His phone rings as he dries his hand on the wash cloth in the kitchen after quickly preparing a breakfast – imitated bibimbap. A text message. Jungkook takes three bites then a large sip of water – whoever that is will have to wait for his morning routine – before he unlocks his phone screen and “Ah.”

 

**Yoongi hyung:** _give Jiminie some pain killers_

 

Jungkook sighs – a dramatic one even though he has no audience – before typing back a reply.

**_kkkk. he went overboard last night?_ **

****

_kid reminded me of my father’s friend when dude got out of prison_

Water spills out from Jungkook’s mouth as he laughs. It is common knowledge that Jimin has a very good alcohol tolerance. So, if anyone says Jimin is drinking a lot, they mean A Lot a lot.

 

**_I’ll go check on him in a minute. you good hyung?_ **

****

_yeah, I’m alright. considering I am awake right now. Jin made haejangguk though_

**_ahhhhh I’m so jealous : < can we switch roommates pls_ **

****

_haha. don’t lie, I know how much you love Jimin. anyways, imma head to the studio now. ttyl_

“And I know how much you love Jimin too, you idiot,” Jungkook mumbles as he types to say goodbye. Behind his back, he hears small sounds of rustling fabric, a groan and then a door opens. Jimin walks into the kitchen in his boxers and Naruto T-shirt, a hand running through his hair though not in the usual sexy Park Jimin way. Just the I-need-water-and-I-feel-like-shit.

Jungkook hands him his glass of water, even though it’s already half empty. Jimin mumbles a thanks and drinks the whole thing in one big gulp.

“Yoongi hyung reminds me to get you pain killers.”

Jimin’s steps slow down a little, before he resumes his walk towards their fridge. “Ah. Okay,” says Jimin, “did he say anything else?”

“Nah,” Jungkook looks at him with a teasing smile, “just that you made a fool out of yourself again and drank too much in order to get the courage to confess to him but failed as usual.”

“HE WHAT??” the bowls in their shelf clank loudly as Jimin turns back and stares at Jungkook like a thief being caught.

“I’m messing with you!” Jungkook falls slightly out of his chair as he laughs. “But well well, am I wrong though?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jimin throws him the scariest glare he can manage at his current state of sleepiness and headache. He soon sits down with his own bowl and focuses on eating, a signal that he doesn’t want to continue the conversation Jungkook just began seconds ago. This too, has recently become a routine.

Breakfast becomes a quiet business then, Jimin too tired to talk as he often does. Jungkook looks at his shoelaces hanging on the window. He wonders what it feels like to run in his shoes without laces.

 

2.

Being inactive in both social media and social life on campus means Jungkook is generally pretty...clueless. Like, the other day a sunbae from his dance class asked if he could go get him a snack, and he didn’t know the request also includes paying for the snack so he told their cafeteria’s ahjumma to deduct money from that sunbae’s student account. Or when he was out with Taehyung last week and they ran into a girl Tae knew from work in a clothing store, she asked if Jungkook might wait for them a little so Taehyung could help her pick out a present for their boss. Jungkook, being his usual kind-hearted self, went out of his way to give advice, asked a lot of questions about what their boss usually wears. Only after they said goodbyes and walked their separate ways, did Taehyung thank him for intervening because the girl had been hitting on his friend for a while and he didn’t know how to decline her more obviously.

In a nutshell, Jungkook is slow in reading social codes. He doesn’t live with codes like that, how’s he supposed to get them? When Jungkook dances he does it rigorously, following calculated steps, leaving all the intentions and meaning bare on his skin. When he sings, the words are round and clearly pronounced. The music says what it says – usually mainstream songs with easy lyrics he remembers quickly after a few times listening. Unlike Jimin, he can’t dance to classical music. He doesn’t do contemporary. Yoongi used to tell him: “To be a good lyricist, you need to appreciate ambiguity and spontaniety.”

And so, life obviously doesn’t prepare Jeon Jungkook enough when he walks into practice room 5 that night to see Lee Jieun make out with his music history professor against the wall.

At first, he quickly rushes out of the room trying to make as little noise as possible, tries to see if there are other available rooms down the hall to practice instead. Sadly, there is none, after all it is just a week until finals. He walks back to that one room in resignation, trying to think of a way to break in without making it too awkward.

As Jungkook stands there waiting for the couple to stop, something catches his attention. They seem- kinda off. His- professor is obviously into it, pushing Jieun against the wall, but she barely does anything to show that she wants the attention, if not, she seems to be pushing him away a little. The kiss is stopped as she titled her head before he went in again, and now it is very obvious that she doesn’t want this, and Jungkook is not really sure. Obviously, Jieun hasn’t tried every possible method to reject “the guy,” so technically his professor is not really harrassing her? Right? But, Jungkook has seen something off on her face and now he can’t unsee it, an expression that just screams Wrong.

Jungkook rushes down the hall again to stop at room 3, opens the door and drags Hoseok – his sunbae from dance class– and quickly explains what he needs him for. They come back to room 5 and put on a little show as Jungkook fakes asking Hoseok to show him a dance move he saw from a competition in Russia but could not imitate, fakes freezing when he sees two people move out of their previous positions.

The intervention, without saying, is awkward. But thankfully awkwardness means a quick ending, and Jungkook having his practice room back. Hoseok taps his shoulder before walking out, and Jungkook goes to sit down on one of the computers to log on his student account and prepare to record his session. It’s only when he turns around to plug in a cable that he realizes, through the view of the mirror, that Jieun hasn’t left the room yet.

She looks dressed-down today, just a long, large black T-shirt and trackpants with red Vans. Not that Jieun usually dresses up when Jungkook sees her on campus, but still, she doesn’t look like someone who planned to meet up with a guy for- _that_ reason. Jungkook doesn’t know why she stays, doesn’t know if there might be something he’s supposed to say after what happened (he clearly can’t come up with anything), so he keeps quiet. Pretends that he is alone and continues his routine.

It feels awkward. Doing a routine he usually does by himself, this time with a person watching. Jungkook is familiar to awkwardness, but that doesn’t help him get better at dealing with it. He can feel Jieun’s gaze at every move he makes in the room, as she stands there and leans against the wall, just looking at him. It’s not actually a normal thing he experiences – having the most respected student in the voice department attend his practice session. Jungkook realizes he doesn’t hate the feeling. Just, an out-of-place kind of thing.

It’s around ten minutes later, at the end of his warm-up song, when Jungkook hears Jieun and realizes she still hasn’t left.

“You’re too early.”

Jungkook turns back to look at her. Jieun stands with her arms folded, her head slightly leaning to the left.

“I’m sorry?”

“You reach that high note too early, that why it breaks.”

Ah. He’s probably nervous with her being here, that’s why he forgot such an obvious thing. Jungkook ruffles his hair out of habit as he breaks eye-contact. Before he is too anxious to react in any way: “You need help with your warm-up? They say I have perfect pitch.”

So Jungkook repeats his routine, this time a little differently.

 

3.

“Hey, is that Sulli’s new boyfriend?” Taehyung nudges Jimin. Jungkook turns to where his friend was pointing at and see a man – significantly older than everyone in this room, in a suit – drinking a glass of what looks like true hard liquor. Besides him is Sulli – a junior Jungkook has heard of, famous for her looks or something.

Typically, everyone is allowed to bring their dates to department parties, but most of the time students in his school just date on campus, with the crazy schedule that they live with. Also, because of the fact that someday eventually they would all want to be famous, most students prefer to let what happens on campus stays on campus. Past scandals are the last thing you would want as a newbie in such a field. This is why, Jimin explains, whenever a stranger comes to parties like this, there will always be gossips.

“I heard he’s some big CEO, but not in the entertainment industry,” says Jimin, “so people are guessing if Sulli decides to just marry rich and drop out.”

“I heard he’s just kind of a temporary sugar daddy,” Tae briefly looks at Jimin before turning to observe the couple again. “Both of them are not serious about each other. Sulli doesn’t settle, she’s just bored of our student body.”

“Ah. Is that why those two hangout together? Her and Lee Jieun?”

Jungkook turns to Jimin. “What do you mean?” he asks, a little defensiveness under his tone. Thankfully, Jimin doesn’t notice, he’s loosely tipsy after a glass of mixed vodka.

 “The girls in contemporary said that those two are very, what’s the word,” Jimin scrunches his eyebrows. “Ah, liberal? Because they hook up with a lot of people. Their tastes are kind of similar, they both like older men.”

Jungkook’s stomach turns upside down, he doesn’t know if he should blame the vodka. He doesn’t like drinking, that’s decided, he just did it because Jimin got him a drink and he didn’t say no because it’s his first party and Jungkook didn’t want to be a spoilsport. He should have just stuck with a diet coke like Taehyung.

“I heard Sulli doesn’t even wear bras to school sometimes,” Taehyung laughs. “I’m asexual and chill so no comments there but the guys in my class talk about her like freakin’ animals.”

“Really? Wow, Jieun must be just as wild I guess. I’m gay as hell but I have to admit she knows how to charm people. She is known to always have her ways around things.”

 _Her ways around things._ Like what?

Jungkook finishes his vodka out of instinct just to put way the current thoughts running around his head, before he remembers he hates it because cheap vodka tastes like shit. The bitter taste hangs on his throat and he can’t unthink. That night in the practice room.

Three of them drop the conversation at that, walk around some more and talk to more people, mostly sophomores like Jimin and Taehyung. Then his friends decide they want to dance, and being on low energy, Jungkook shakes his head when they ask if he wants to join. He stands in a corner, smiling a bit when his two friends look his way.

“Hey”

He hasn’t seen her since last week, and it already feels somewhat empty. It’s nonsense, Lee Jieun isn’t part of Jungkook’s routine. Tonight she looks different, not at all like when they sometimes see each other in practice on the weekends. Jieun wears a thin floral dress that covers less than half of her thighs, a black leather jacket on top and she has light make-up on.

“Ah, sunbaenim,” he bows slightly, a bit awkward, a bit in awe. Jungkook’s a lot taller than her, so when he looks down his eyes catches the sight of her exposed legs. He swallows.

The first time she came to him, he thought it was because he looked helpless during practice and she wanted to just help out. He didn’t know she would say hi again if they run into each other somewhere else. Wasn’t sure they were really.. friends.

“Why do you look so bored?”

“I, um, don’t really know anyone here besides my two friends and they’re dancing,” Jungkook scratches his nape. “I’m a freshman, so.”

“Ah. We’re the same, then.”

He stares at her. “You’re a senior,” Jungkook states, like it’s obvious because it is.

“Freshman year is the easiest time to make friends. If you manage to get two good friends after first year you’d probably stick with roughly the same number when you graduate.”

He cracks a little smile. Being lowkey feels good and okay for him, more now that someone older is there to assure him that it is. He imagines graduating with just Jimin and Taehyung, maybe Yoongi if he can make it – he hopes Jimin gets his shit together by then, and it feels right. He doesn’t need that many friends.

“Jungkook ah, you want to get out of here?”

The sound of his name in her mouth quiets down the music. Jieun gives him a half-smile, slightly friendly, slightly teasing. Jungkook knows his answer on his tongue. She takes his wrist and slowly pulls him out of the party, some people catches them but look away quickly, they might know Jieun but they most definitely don’t know Jungkook so there’s nothing interesting there to see; besides, the music is already louder and getting everyone’s attention.

They walk back to Jieun’s one-person apartment, chatting about schoolwork and music. Jungkook thanks Jieun for helping him do well on his exam, Jieun is helping a producer write lyrics for a girl group’s album coming out next year. She keeps her hand on his wrist, almost as if she’s afraid he might get lost; and usually Jungkook doesn’t like being babied but somehow he’s fine with it now. Jieun is a lot more mature than him. It shows in the way she talks about people, how her mind works. At some point, Jungkook is even surprised that she wants his company, because compared to her he is just a normal freshman trying to make it in their department. At times, when Jungkook is alone in his room, singing, he thinks he’s special – not the best, just something different from what people see out there. Then he comes to class and everyone is just as talented as him, if not more, and he knows he has something but to make it far, he still has a whole lot to learn and grow.

And Jieun, Jieun looks like someone who has it all figured out for herself. Someone who could probably figure someone like Jungkook out in two seconds.

Still, Jieun asks about him, seems interested in hearing what he has to say. Jungkook is usually quiet, when he is with Jimin or Tae, they usually talk more to make space for conversations. But, Jieun has a way to coax words out of him.

Inside her apartment, Jieun takes out a bottle of wine from her fridge because Jungkook complains about the shitty vodka he drank earlier and she says that was a bad example of alcohol. She points towards where her speaker is in the living room and tells him to play some music.

“What do you like?”

“Whatever you want.”

“Okay,” Jungkook nods and looks back on his phone screen. He eventually picks a playlist Yoongi makes for Jimin to help him sleep, decides that it’d be suitable. Something noisy like what he usually listens to might break the tender 1AM silence they have right now.

“Aw, I love this artist,” Jieun sits down next to him as he is still on his phone. “Isn’t She Lovely” is playing, a Korean cover by a recently famous indie band Hyukoh. Jieun hands him a glass of red wine and he slightly bows again with a thank-you. She asks him about classes he look forward to next quarter and Jungkook talks again. He likes talking about school.

As time passes, Jungkook is slightly drunk. Since he doesn't drink alcohol before tonight, he doesn’t know his tolerance. Jieun seems to stay the same after they finish the first bottle, but he already feels funny and hot inside. He talks a lot more too, faster than he can filter for himself, without enough consciousness to hope he won’t say something stupid.

“He didn’t eat when the new owner tried to feed him. So he died after a while. I was so small back then so I didn’t even notice, my mom distracted me with other things so eventually I moved on and stopped asking. She only mentioned that like a few weeks ago and said she didn’t want to tell me something like that back then because she’s afraid I would cry too much. But you know what?”

“What?” Jieun asks, smiling.

“I still cried when she told me. Not too dramatic, but I got kind of teary because I just thought of how I just forgot about him.”

“You were a kid back then, Kookie. Kids move on fast. They always have short attention span.”

“Ah. You’re right. I guess- I don’t know. I kept thinking about it, I don’t know why but it bothers me for a while. And then I had this kind of fucked-up thought, that somehow I felt lucky that we weren’t that close back then. That’s why I moved on so fast from him you know? All the stories about kids with a dog, like Totochan, the characters are also kids but they always cry when their friend is gone. I remembered that I wasn’t that close with Blackie back then. I was at school most of the time and after all our family didn’t stay in that town for long so he didn’t live with us that long, that’s why I forgot about him. Isn’t that kind of fucked up? That I was scared I might have gotten closer to him and it would have broken my heart to hear about him dying without being able to do anything about it.”

Jieun’s hums lightly. She might have leaned on him a little bit for comfort, but Jungkook cannot tell.

“Anyways, I have a question. Don’t you have some great high school love story to tell?”

“What do you mean?” Jungkook looks up from his glass of wine.

“Well, you’re so excited talking about your dog so I just got curious, why you don’t talk about whoever you dated in high school and stuff.”

“Because I don’t.”

Jieun stares at him. She looks surprised, like she doesn’t buy it.

“I didn’t date in high school. Didn’t like anyone for longer than a week. Too busy studying dance and singing besides schoolwork, and working at a convenient store to save money for Seoul.”

“That’s-” Jieun looks like she wants to disagree, as if she knows more, as if Jungkook’s talking bullshit. “No way, there must be at least one girl who confessed to you or something?”

“Ah, there is. Like, two of them? In 12th grade. It’s funny, they both gave me food on Valentine and I accepted both of them without knowing because I had no idea what a Valentine was at that time and what accepting such a gift means. I mean, we always bring lunch to school so sometimes I eat my friends’ food too, I thought it’s not a big deal? Anyways, both of the girls got mad at me and that was about it.”

Jieun laughs.

“Oh God, that’s hilarious. You’re really clueless are you?” she says, looking at him. And Jungkook is about to agree whole-heartedly that yes, that’s the perfect word to describe him, when Jieun leans in and suddenly they’re kissing.

Everything feels static except for the touch of their lips. Jieun titles her head, her hand grazing the nape of his neck and Jungkook can barely breathes right, but the last thing he wants is to break away. He feels her hand move and settle on his thigh, and now she’s in his space, and it’s slow but certain – the way she moves – somehow that assures him and Jungkook finds himself calming down. He loosens his fists and finds himself reach for Jieun under the warm glow of light, hand tugging her arm lightly, unsure of where to touch.

After a few minutes, Jungkook breaks the kiss because he really needs to breathe. Shit, he doesn’t know kissing requires that much breath control. The amount of porn he has watched and gossips from Jimin surely aren’t educational enough.

“You good?” Jieun asks, again with her half-teasing voice.

“I am drunk,” Jungkook answers, like that’s relevant, but it is to him.

“I know,” she’s laughing now, “I got you drunk, after all.”

“I-” Jungkook stutters, “um, I don’t. I don’t know how- Sorry.”

“I know,” she repeats, “you just say that.”

“I did?”

“Yeah, you say you didn’t date in high school?”

“Ah,” Jungkook nods because he did just say that.

Jieun cups his face with her hands. “I’ll tell you what to do, is that okay?”

Jungkook breaks eye-contact, looks at his hand travelling down along her arm before he moves his arm away, anxiety taking over him again. Jieun stops him in the middle of it, tugs his hand and put it on her hip.

“Come here,” she says. And like he has been waiting for the word, Jungkook starts moving again.

They kiss for a long while this time, lips getting more tender. At some point, Jieun tugs off his white T-shirt and moves to sit on his lap. As they kiss, he can feel her body very closely, her heat radiating on his own skin. When she moves down to bite on his neck, Jungkook notices he’s hard and that he’s touching Jieun so much more than he thought he would be allowed to.

“Jungkookie,” Jieun calls him.

“Yes sunbaeni- ah, noona?”

Jieun laughs into his neck, her breath warm and wet. “I’m going to make you feel good, okay?”

His breath stutters as he nods, knows that she can feel his hardon since they’re so close, and waits as she moves away a bit, reaches behind and zips down her dress. Then there’s so much skin for him to touch. She leans back towards him to suck his neck again, her left hand zips down his jeans and begins to palm him through his boxer as he bites on his own lips. Her right arm finds his left arm and places it under her bra, right on her breast.

“You’re so good for me.”

When he comes, Jungkook doesn’t know if he finally sobers up or has gotten even more drunk. He saw white, and then something blazing. Jieun kisses him some more until he calms down, before getting off his lap and telling him to go to the bathroom to clean up.

In the bathroom, Jungkook remembers. That Jieun hasn’t- come. She hasn’t finished.

Does she want to? With him?

Shit, he has never done this before. Which means there is a small chance she would enjoy it. After all, most of the time women can’t come from penetration (Jungkook has an older sister, so he’s educated).

After staying in the bathroom for far too long, he decides to follow his sister’s number one advice. He asks.

“Noona.”

Jieun turns away from the window as she was staring out in the night. “Hey. Are you good?”

 “I. Um.”

Jieun looks at him tenderly. After a moment, he decides to go for it. Jungkook sits down next to her and makes himself ask. “Do you want me to- to make you come?”

He doesn’t look at her as he says it, too nervous thinking that she would look at him as just a child, not experienced enough to make her feel even aroused. 

Then, Jieun snorts.

“How will you do that? Fuck me with your cock until I scream?”

Jungkook’s face falls as he stutters. “N-No. I know I can’t be sure that you will enjoy it if I do- that. But-but I can do- something else. I mean.. I have never done it before, but I have read and um-watch stuff, so I can figure it out. And I can ask you. When I am um, doing it. If you want me to. Yeah. Only if you want to, of course.”

Jieun is silent for a while. When he looks up, her eyes are somewhat darker. There isn’t a hint of teasing.

“Tell me what you want to do,” she says eventually.

Jungkook has only been a virgin 15 minutes ago, but he surprises himself with this newfound confidence. So this time he looks at her as he says it, ignoring his burning cheeks and how his mind is screaming inside: “Noona, can I lick you?”

Jieun lets out a breath he didn’t know she was holding. She reaches out to kiss him hard. “Of course Jungkookie. That sounds great to me.”

They don’t take off any item of clothing. There is something that spikes his arousal even more with the fact that they are doing this with clothes on – mostly, that is, except for Jieun’s underwear. She still guides him, it doesn’t feel intimidating with her because she is patient, and Jungkook can only prove to be a fast learner. He takes a deep breath before getting down on his knees and between her legs. His hands find her smooth thighs and she shivers at the touch.

Jungkook is careful. Being used to having routines, he isn’t one to lose control of himself often; so whenever he’s in a new situation, in order to gain control, he reminds himself to be careful. He did a run-through in the bathroom earlier about what he remembered from the videos he had watched before, the instructions, what he should not do, how long it generally takes. Even if he fails at making her come, she would probably still enjoy it – that’s what the magazine has said - but. He has a goal, and Jungkook hates failing.

Jieun jumps a little, her hip shaking as he starts sucking her clit, and soon he feels one of her hands in his hair.

“Ah- Jungkookie. Feels good”

He soon realizes he fucking loves this, fucking love the way she breathes out his name like someone who has been running for hours. Loves how soft Jieun is under his hand, her thighs squeezing his head, and sometimes when he twirls his tongue she makes a very pretty high-pitch sound. He continues licking and sucking her for long minutes. If there is something Jungkook is confident about, it is his stamina.

“Kookie, I want- give me your fingers”

He slows down, taking in the words, then pushes two fingers inside – not one just because- instinct – and Jieun gasps before relaxing and humming in contentment. Jungkook pushes his fingers in slowly first, testing, discovering, until Jieun whines something like “More” and he sucks her clit harder while pushing his fingers in and out faster.

After a while, Jungkook feels that Jieun is struggling to control herself when she occasionally slips up, pulling his hair roughly for a moment or pushing his face further in between her legs, before softly mubling an apology, placing her hand on the edge of the sofa, grabbing at the leather instead. He stops, and lifts his head up. “I like it."

Jieun stares at him. “When I pull your hair?”

He nods. “When you’re aggressive,” he says, and it’s the first time he sees her blushing. “Okay. Okay, keep going,” and her voice shakes a little.

Jungkook continues. Jieun’s body starts to jerk up more often, she rolls her hips towards him, whining, his fingers feel more and more sticky. He pushes his fingers in far deeper and crook them, just to try, and “JUNGKOOK!” she shouts, and he’s fucking into this. He lifts his head up as he is still sucking her clit, he wants to see her face.

“Ah- fuck- Jungkookie-”

Then it gets frantic, her moans get louder and the whines are longer. There is a shift on Jieun’s face as she comes, before all of her muscles fall limb under his arms.

Jungkook earns many kisses and praises after that, and he hides his face in her neck as he comes again.

 

4.  

Jungkook is late on his Sunday morning runs these days, as he would often come back from Jieun’s apartment the night before. Now he runs with different pairs of shoes each week instead of the black pair he usually wears just for running. The other pairs are not his favorite, sometimes they are not even strictly running shoes, but surprisingly Jungkook is okay with that, the shifts in his routine. He doesn’t feel the normal anxiety or annoyance. Maybe it’s because he usually has a lot on his mind on Sundays now, happy giddy things to think about.

He loves spending time with Jieun than anyone he's met in his life. Their musical tastes are not the same, but he finds out that she can talk about all genres and he loves listening to her talking. Jungkook helps her out with dance as her senior performance is coming up, and it’s fun, and though he does not take that as a chance to touch her more often when they practice, they sometimes make out after showering in her apartment when he smells like her shampoo, and he lowkey thinks that she thinks he looks hot when he’s dancing. Jungkook likes waiting for her signs to know when she wants him to touch her, the thrill of it. Soon enough he doesn’t have to ask her so many questions as before, because he just knows.

Jieun always has an idea about how things can go. And for now, Jungkook’s really, really good with that.

 

5.

It’s the week of senior performance series, and Jimin is so so excited for Yoongi’s performance. Every other day, his older friend rants about how much he cannot wait for another masterpiece from Agust D –Yoongi’s badass stage name. Yoongi has, according to Jimin, been extremely mysterious this time about what he was going to perform, instead of letting Jimin hear it firsthand like he usually does, and Jimin is only a bit upset, a lot more curious. As Jungkook stands with his friend among the crowd, waiting for Yoongi, he thinks he is thrilled for what’s about to come as well.

When the music starts, there are instant whispers. The beat is strangely...soft.. and light, this time. Yoongi walks out on stage, starts rapping, and whispers become louder because shit, Agust D really, this time, performed a real-fucking-love-song. Min Yoongi – the person who made a diss track about “bullshit love songs” last year, which became a huge thing on campus, who is well-known to never sing about love.

Still, this song, despite it being about love, is still a masterpiece. Still Yoongi’s. He sings about fears of being his true self, of anxiety, how he cannot say what he feels because he is afraid of not being good enough for the person he loves. It’s beautiful how Yoongi manages to go in such dept in a song that on the whole, is meant to be sweet. So, of course, when it ends, the crowd goes nuts. And there are more whispers about who he might possibly have written about, because it is highkey unlikely that Agust D made up a love song that truthful just to mess around.

Jungkook doesn’t notice Jimin until after the song ends, too deeply focused on Yoongi spitting bars on stage and being his usual perfomer persona. It is only when the song ends, that he turns back to Jimin and realizes that his friend has been very, very quiet.

“Jimin hyung?”

Jimin is tense. His hands curl up into fists as he holds onto the hems of his sweater, and he doesn’t speak a word. Jungkook doesn’t have time to ask further, because another performance already beings.

It is Hoseok’s.

Now, Jungkook has no idea that Hoseok and Yoongi are friends. Very, very good friends at that, judging from the way Yoongi shouts J-HOPEEEEE annoyingly like a fanboy throughout all the hip rolls. At some point, Jungkook laughs because of how ridiculous Yoongi is, he has never seen his sunbae so happy and encouraging towards anyone in his year like this.

So when Jungkook turns towards Jimin to share his little discovery, Jimin’s eyes are already on Yoongi. He has definitely heard the shouts. Something shifts in Jimin’s eyes, his hands start shaking a little, despite the crowd going crazy around them Jungkook somehow realizes that, and-

Jimin runs away.

Jungkook mutters a curse. He sends Jieun a text, saying sorry for not being able to stay for her performance because of something urgent (luckily he has been there when she practices and has heard the song many times already), then quickly heads back home. Jimin needs him. Usually Tae is better at this than Jungkook, the comforting and all that, but today he’s busy helping out another senior for her performance so texting him will have to wait.

In the living room, Jimin is lying on the sofa, eyes teary. It’s painful to watch. Jungkook hurries towards his older friend until he breaks into sobs and just holds him, all the while saying “Hyung it’s okay,” “Please don’t cry,” and occasionally, “I think they are just friends.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?? Were you even there? Did you see that? Yoongi hyung never cheers for anyone like that. He never- At my performance-”

“Hyung, you do contemporary dance, not rolling hips in a EDM song. How can Yoongi hyung cheer for you like that??”

More like too busy swallowing his spit down to shout anything ever, Jungkook thinks ironically.

“He just never. He. I- I never knew- he doesn’t tell me- maybe- I guess they have just got together and he wanted the song to be a surprise for everyone-”

“We don’t know that yet now do we? Maybe- I still don’t think they are together.”

Jimin says nothing and just keeps crying. They end up on the couch, Jungkook wrapping his arms around his smaller hyung as he swears to smack the hell out of Yoongi.

 

6.

He shouldn’t have said what he said.

Jieun looks at him, her face just slightly tense, she has always been good at hiding her emotions. And, “What?”

“I asked if you’re sleeping with him too,” Jungkook says, because it’s something he can ask. They just walked past the music history professor he saw Jieun making out with before in the hallway, and he can't let it go. It was not like the professor acted anything towards her when Jungkook was present but still.

He knows they are not officially dating, but if Jieun decides to just fuck other people in her free time he deserves to know.

Jungkook is nervous. He’s mad, but anxiety also takes over him because somehow in the back of his mind he realizes there is a change in how Jieun looks at him then, like something has changed between them and he cannot take what he says back. Like this will be the change that stays.

“Do you even need to ask?” she answers, eventually. “You already have the answer, am I right?”

“Are you confirming that answer, noona?”

Jieun turns away from him to stare out at the sky, shaking the beer bottle in her hand a little before bringing it up towards her mouth for a sip. All actions taken slowly, like Jungkook isn’t really there. They brought beer up in the roof top today, on a Sunday morning, just to look at the blue, like Jieun wanted. Now, he can’t hear her waxing poetry in his ears anymore.

“Maybe,” Jieun says. Like it's final. She takes another sip of beer, looks at Jungkook again, this time with a half-smile that’s neither happy or sad.

“What a shame. I actually have liked you, Jeon Jungkook.”

And Jieun walks away from him.

 

7.

Jungkook has been running more than usual. Maybe each hour per day. He tells himself it’s a good routine to keep up his stamina for the dance competition next month with Hoseok. It takes a bit of effort to lie to yourself, but the task isn’t impossible.

He runs and runs, crosses streets and people and children and food vendors. Jungkook keeps running until he is 99% out of breath and in front of him, there is a team of bikers signaling their arrival so he has to stop and stand aside to let them pass. Jungkook stops, his sweaty palms leaning heavily on his ankles, and sees that one of the shoe laces have become untied.

He really shouldn’t feel like this. Fuck feelings, Jungkook doesn’t know those fuckers. But here’s the thing, Jieun loves, or loved, to mess with his obsession for routines, and one of the ways she used to tease him about it is to untie his shoelaces randomly when he doesn’t notice. It’s such a silly first-grader thing, but in her explanation, “it bothers you, am I right?” and goddamn it, she’s always right. And then he would bear-attack her for messing with him because she’s so silly and so small and- Maybe if they ended up kissing on the floor he would decide he likes the teasing anyway.

Jungkook really doesn’t want to feel like this. But his eyes get wet as he remembers how the first time Jieun ever said she likes (liked) him has only been when they parted ways. While he himself has said it so many times to her. And Jungkook never regrets that, because it's true, and because it’s always worth it when he gets to see the mere fondness on her face.

Suddenly, he realizes that it does not even matter if she is hooking up with the professor or not, because-

The conversation, the question. It should have been about them. Instead of his blinded perspective because of the school’s gossip and how those people judge Jieun. It wasn’t wrong of him to ask, but he should have asked another question. The question he’s actually afraid to ask.

Jungkook stares up at the sky. It’s really not blue at all today, mostly the grey kind of white.

 

8.

Jungkook was going to enter his apartment when he noticed a familiar sight of Yoongi at their front door. Thankfully, the sunbae hasn’t seen him, so he tries to hide until Jimin opens the door after a few knocks. When Yoongi finally steps in, Jungkook moves closer to the entry way. There is a window right next to their main door, where Jungkook can observe every bit of the tense situation happening inside their living room. 

“Hey Jiminie,” Yoongi greets slowly, cautious, like he notices how unwelcomed he is in their home. Jimin hums as he turns his back on him to busy himself with tea, or whatever that is at their kitchen counter.

“How are you? I haven’t heard from you in a while. I thought- You- You are good, right?”

“Yeah. I’m fine, hyung.”

Yoongi scratches the tears on his jeans as he looks down. The man only does that when he is very nervous. Jungkook only saw him like this once before. The night Jungkook and Jimin met him for the first time, at Taehyung’s place.

Jimin puts down a cup of tea, or coffee, on their fake table, and sits down on the other side of their sofa. It’s a big sofa, so it looks obvious that so much space is left between them. Jungkook feels sad, he remembers how whenever they have movie night, Jimin and Yoongi would always sit so close to one another. Sometimes, they would even hold hands.

“What makes you come over?” Jimin asks, after a minute of silence. “You can just text me to ask how I am doing.”

“I want to see you. I thought- Hoseok said you were busy with your evaluations, but I know it’s over yesterday, so- yeah.”

Jimin half-nods, a little jerkily. Jungkook can tell he’s holding back emotions. He has seen Jimin crying about two times this week, and has been sleeping in his room when Taehyung cannot come over.

And now, his friend probably prepares for the “hey-I-know-I-don’t-love-you-back-but-we-are-still-friends-right” conversation.

But, then, there’s Yoongi.

Jungkook doesn’t know the deal between him and Hoseok. They are indeed awfully close, but Hoseok sometimes drapes himself all over Jungkook too when he’s in the mood, when Jungkook imitates a move he teaches him perfectly.

Jungkook hears a big sigh. And then, Yoongi sounds a bit shaky. “Jiminie. What’s going on? Since when is our relationship like this? That I only come over when I need something from you?”

Silence.

“Nothing’s wrong. We all get busy at times. I’m just worried you might have somewhere else to go, I don’t want to waste your time-“

“What the fuck are you talking about? Did I ever act like spending time with you is a waste of my time??”

Jimin flinches. And then Yoongi seems very guilty for acting angry in front of him, so he makes himself small again.

“It seems like you’re not in a good mood today, hyung,” Jimin straightens his shoulders. I think you should go, maybe we can talk later-“ he stands up, about to move towards the door-

But Yoongi holds his wrist.

“Okay. Okay, if you don’t want to talk to me, it’s fine. I- If it’s because of the song I wrote, if you just need more time to- if you feel uncomfortable because- I- I understand. But- but you are my best friend, Jiminie. Even if we- I- can we still be like what we were before?”

Jimin snaps.

“We are already not what we were before, hyung. You already didn’t think about me being your best friend when you refused to tell me about that song beforehand.”

“I-” Yoongi swallows. “I thought- it would be a nice surprise- I don’t know. I’m sorry. I didn’t think-“

“A surprise? What, you need to plan all that to tell me you are dating Jung Hoseok? Hyung, that’s so thoughtful and unnecessary of you.”

Yoongi stares at Jimin, his mouth open, and Jungkook’s mind goes: Shit.

“What? What are you talking about?”

“I guess it’s would be a nice surprise for Hoseok himself, but I thought at least I would have some best friends priviliges of knowing how you wrote it for him before the entire school finds out-”

“I didn’t write it for him. Jiminie, what are you talking about?”

Now Jimin squints his eyes, confused. “That song. You said in the lyrics that you- you love him.”

...

“Jimin. You’re fucking with me.”

“I am not, that’s literally what you wrote-”

“I love you.”

...

“Jimin, what are you talking about, I- I wrote it for you. I- why did you think it’s about Hoseok? It sounds nothing like him. It sounds like you.”

Yoongi stands up too, and they stare at each other for so long Jungkook starts to squirm. Then Yoongi reaches out to Jimin, pulling the younger boy closer by the hip.

“I- I was such a coward. I- you- I’m a fucking mess. I can’t open myself up. I don’t know how to be happy. I only know how to be happy because you taught me to and made me happy. But I,” he swallows, “ I know you can do so much better than me, so I- I wrote that song and I couldn’t tell you about it. I was so scared. I submitted it for my final and my supervisor convinced me to perform it. So I just- I thought I would do it only once. And if you realize- even if you reject me- I tell myself to at least say what I have to say, so that you know. Because it is important to me that you know.”

“so- it’s not Hoseok?”

 Jungkook smiles as he watches them, because, What an idiot.

There is a crack of a smile in Yoongi’s face too. A beam, to be exact. He touches Jimin’s face with his veiny right hand, drying the tears on the younger’s face.

“Jiminie,” he calls him so so fondly. “Didn’t you hear all of what I just said?”

“I- I just- It’s-” Jimin’s hands reach up to touch Yoongi’s chest.

Yoongi leans forward to kiss him. It’s the way he does it, like he can’t get another chance to kiss Jimin, the desperation. Both of their breathings get heavy as each minute passes, but they don’t part. Jungkook turns way, and then realizes he’s a bit teary too. When he turns back to look at them, they are embracing, chins upon each other’s shoulder.

Jungkook turns away and decides he should go take a long walk before coming back. He walks mindlessly, clouded with thoughts.

When he looks up, suddenly Jungkook finds himself in front of Jieun’s apartment.


End file.
